that's what you get when you let you're heart win.

paramore!

I have this knot twisting feeling in my stomach. It's so disturbing I wish I was throwing up instead. At least it'd all come out.

Anway, today in abnormal psychology we diagnosed characters from Winnie the Pooh. The teacher actually read us a short Winnie the Pooh story book. It's probably obvious that Tiggr has ADHD. Piglet has some kind of anxiety order. Eeyore is also an obvious case---major depression. Pooh sadly is developmentally delayed. We didn't do the other characters, but we also did Christopher Robin who is actually normal compared to the others. Then again he's the kid talking to animals...so the teacher suggested that he's a victim of being physically or emotionally abused that he created the world of Pooh where he separates characters with his own demons. Upsetting that a childhood story has been torn to pieces with knowledge as the culprit...It could be true though it all kind of makes sense.

I was talking to a good friend today, about trust issues. It's just one of those things where you wish you were little & could go and believe whatever you want to believe. I mean that's the beauty of childhood, but sadly, you don't realize how good you had it as a kid until you get older. Believing in everything was ideal. Hopefull. Thinking everything in the world is simple but as you age you realize everything really isn't. Then all our ideal perceptions become skewed by reality. Learn to be smart by questioning the validity of almost everything. It sucks but I don't think we can help it...

I need to be more busy. I hate not working! I hate that my day isn't all day at school now that I have all the free time in the world. All this idle time is really not good for me.
I don't sleep well at night because of all my stupid stupid stupid thoughts that I don't want to unload anywhere else but my pillow. But I like to blame it on the jetlagg so my relatives don't think I have issues going on in my head.

up & down up & down , what is it going to be...
I can't be that selfish craving consistency.