clean up clean up.

Yeah. I've been using pictures to substitute for the words that I can't seem to find. Or just indolent with writing. I think I'm stuck in a wordless pit. I lack the fluidness I once had with words. Hopefully I fix it soon seeing as most of my classes this semester involve massive amounts of writing and reading. I actually will have to read for my other classes. My first semester in a while without a science class or lab. The waterworks were on almost full blast last night for stupid self-loathing reasons that I really shouldn't have entertained. I'm glad you were there for me but I felt like I just wasted time. & Sleep. Now with a clear head, okay not clear seeing as I still have all these thoughts in my head, but in a more stable emotional state, I know I'm still cleaning up. Got cleaning up to do. I just hate that the person I love has to deal with my mess. I'm never really satisfied. I'm extremely flawed. But whenever I come to accept myself with my flaws, someone's always got to have a problem with it. (usually my family). I need God. I know I do but I'm being stubborn. I don't know what it is but I'm lost. I can't find reason, & my faith is really weak. I wish I could blame this on the hormones & maybe that's just it. Cluttered desk indicates cluttered mind.