"I give but you hope in return I'd never be the one to burn"

Take Cover-Acceptance

Mm. I told him most of what I really need to...but I want face time. So I'll wait for face time.
A friend of mine told me I need to put it all out there. All out there.

So, I saw this movie today. Which I thought was intensely moving. But I don't want to mention the title just yet. Just a thought.
Here it is:
Let's say you needed a new heart. There's a donor and you undergo surgery to get the new heart. It works perfectly fine & your body doesn't reject it at all. But the donor was someone you had loved. How would you feel after?
I really wouldn't know how to feel. But just thinking about it makes me sad.
Questions like that make me realize I should pay attention to the bigger picture of life instead of situations that really aren't perplexed as I make them to be.

I've never experienced death of a close one first hand---when I say that I mean I've never been in the place at the time. When my grandpa's passed away I was in here in Japan. I couldn't go to my paternal grandpa's funeral because I didn't want to leave my mom & baby geo (who was only 4 months old at the time) alone & my dad took Ivan with him to the P.I. My mom's dad passed away & to this day it is my only regret. My only serious regret---that I did not go. I was a senior in high school & had exams coming up I had to take. Looking back 3 years later I want to go back tell myself that all that didn't matter but being there for my mom did. Those exams didn't even matter. I wish I had spent more time with my grandpas. I remember my Lolo Piring (paternal)was a big man who had these very kind eyes & a forgiving smile. He never said much though, or I was too young to remember. I do remember one late night when I was 6 years old (in Oxnard, Ca) that he had visited us. He gave me this white teddy bear that at the time was really big. I wish I knew where it was today. My Lolo Tony was on the learner side with delicate gray hair, a face easily cracked with a smile or laugh, and eyes that made you think harder than you really had to. He was into stock markets, tennis & boxing.
Both my Lolo's were very intelligent men (hah I know, Ivan & Geo got all the goods right). I wish I was more mature then to have gotten to know them better.
Both my Lola's are strong women though. They keep busy & importantly their faith in God really is what keeps them up. I'm proud to be their apo (grandchild). & Someday I do hope I make them proud too.