Another Thursday Night

This is awesome: Izzy & Alex are legit.
I know I may come off like a socially detached person to be so involved with the characters of my favoritest show Grey's Anatomy, but I can't help it. I'm sorry. It's way moving than all the romantic comedies combined.
I guess that's how relative I feel to it.
I'm a sucker for sensitivity. Really.
But now I'm in a conflict.
Naturally, I am a very caring person. But being that girl got me into so much heartache I can't go back.
So I forced her to grow. I forced her to develop walls, to develop boundaries. It's hard to let her fall.
Watch herself.
Sometimes I really do wish I could just let go of all inhibitions. But I'm not trying to be that crazy. Although I guess I already have...But really, I just want to feel safe. & sometimes, it's just hard. I don't know if I'll ever be the same. I'm scared to be that vulnerable again.
At the same time, the one person who could hurt me the most...can't.
So I'm not in the position to be ultimately screwed.

I can't wait to finish school. Really.
Halloween's tomorrow...reminds me of last year. Last year Halloween was great, at least for me.
I had fun. It was chill. Favorite company.
How time really does change things.
Somethings I wish never changed.
But that's the beauty of life right, change?
I miss kicking back & watching movies almost all night long. I'm really a homebody, I can't help it.
I'm good at hanging out by myself too. Lame right. But I miss company. But we all got our own to take care of these days.
Like bills.
Ugh.
My room never stays clean for more than two days either so I should get on that.
I also miss falling asleep on the phone & waking up the next morning to missed calls.
Stupid phone.